Imposter sydrome is not the problem
Why we mistake discomfort for incompetence
But lately, I’ve found myself questioning so many things that women have been told about our careers.
Things we’ve accepted as truths that often send us off in the wrong direction – and have us questioning our value and our voice.
One of them is imposter syndrome.
Just yesterday, a client told me she was struggling to speak up with peers who had been questioning her judgment.
“I think I have imposter syndrome,” she said.
This is someone with a highly successful career in banking. Promotions. Recognition. A track record of delivering results.
And yet, she was starting to question whether she was capable of doing her job.
It’s such a familiar narrative.
At some point, most women I work with will say:
“I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready.”
“I have a confidence issue.”
And to be clear – the feeling is real.
The term “imposter syndrome” was coined in the 1970s to describe high-achieving women who struggled to internalize their success.
And decades of research since then has shown that these feelings – self-doubt, anxiety, questioning your place – are incredibly common. Especially in high-pressure or high-performance environments.
But here’s where I think we’ve misunderstood what’s actually happening.
When you look more closely at when these feelings show up, a different picture starts to emerge.
They tend to appear when we’re stepping into something bigger.
When the expectations are higher.
When we’re navigating unfamiliar territory.
When we’re being challenged in new ways – or not yet fully recognized for the value we bring.
In other words, when we’re being stretched.
And somewhere along the way, we’ve taken that very normal human and physiological response (any kind of change can make our brains very nervous) and turned it into a diagnosis.
But we don’t need a diagnosis. We simply need to shift our perspective.
What if what we’re calling imposter syndrome isn’t a lack of capability, but often a response to growth?
I see this over and over again.
Women who are capable, experienced, already delivering and yet interpreting the discomfort that comes with stretch as they don’t have what it takes to do the job.
But discomfort and incompetence are not the same thing.
And yet we’ve been taught to treat them as if they were.
I’m not saying the environments women work in aren’t part of this.
Being the only one in the room.
Having your judgment questioned.
Navigating spaces that weren’t designed with you in mind.
These are real dynamics.
So sometimes it is the environment we work in that makes us feel threatened.
Sometimes it’s the stretch.
Often it’s a mix of both.
But what matters most is what you say to yourself.
Because if the interpretation is “I need to wait until I feel more confident:”
Then you hold back.
You stay quieter than you want to.
You second-guess decisions.
You hesitate to fully step in.
But if the interpretation shifts to:
“This is new.”
“I’m still learning.”
“It makes sense that this feels uncomfortable.”
Then something opens up.
You don’t need to eliminate the feeling.
You just need to stop letting it define you.
This has happened to me more times than I can count.
Moments where I’ve hesitated – not because I didn’t know – but because I was still finding my footing in something new. Like when I launched my coaching business four years ago and had to establish my credibility in a new way.
But here’s the thing.
I never called it imposter syndrome.
I kept telling myself that I would figure it out like I had many other times in my career when faced with a big challenge.
I still felt unsure and scared, but the reminder that this was a temporary response to doing something new made all the difference in how I moved through those moments.
If you are questioning your worth as a leader – whether you’re 35 or 55 – I offer you this reframe: What if this feeling of not being enough isn’t a problem to solve but a signal that you're stretching?
Maybe something to notice this week.
Not to fix. Just to pay attention to.